"I wish nothing but the best of you too"

i just remembered, i never told you how much you hurt me:
you made my heart bleed. at least it felt that way. sometimes i thought my heart. my love for you would just break through me and spill everywhere. relieving me of the memories, the promise, the love i had for you. the love that in some form or another still remains in the dark secret space of my sacred memories. little pieces of our love still sits in the bottom of my treasure box. i look through that box. not often. but when i do, with out fail, i shed a tear. just one little tear for you.  a tear of joy and hate- for im thankful i can even have those bitter memories because sometimes...sometimes we were okay. and by that i mean we were better than okay because when we were okay things were great. it was like nothing could possibly go wrong if u were there or not there but if u at least thought of me as the angel u used to think i was. now, I am no angel. I hurt the people I love as you did me. I guess it was my fault. for falling in love with someone who just wasn't ready for love.

I miss you. I'm over you.  I'm in love with someone else. I'm trying to be good to him, but because of how you've bruised me, he's suffering. he doesn't get to be too loved..he doesn't get to have me completely because you showed me that's wrong. you showed me that its best not to care too much. don't get me wrong, you are not the reason I'm a shitty lover. that's on me. you actually made me grow up. fast. no more innocent, selfless but uninhibited tomi. now, im just...a hedonistic heart breaker. thanks.